saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
dude. I can hear the air.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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