i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
