Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
