fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
