I must be too annoying 4 u.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Less talking, more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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