So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i was born a porn star she said
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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