Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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