I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
