After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
