I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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