Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
