you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
