my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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