i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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