theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
