I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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