so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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