how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
