Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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