It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
