butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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