Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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