Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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