I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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