theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
do nipples grow back?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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