don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You're a waste of cheezeits
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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