I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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