Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
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He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
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don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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