Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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