too bad you live with your parents still
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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