I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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