Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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