I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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