I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize