There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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