I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
