I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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