can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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