Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
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