Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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