you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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