C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
