At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
