If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
