She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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