"it" just moved
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
