How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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