You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize