I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize