I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
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beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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