I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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