i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
