he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
and she was petting her beer can
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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