Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
this boner is exhausting
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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