Dual....:-)
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I deserve this hangover.
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