nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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