this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
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I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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