Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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