and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
