uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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