eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
