she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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